You Always Have A Choice

You find yourself sitting on the rooftop at 2 AM, bathing at the moonlight, staring at the stars and not hearing anything from the whole town after it has gone to rest, (aside from the neighbor’s caterwauling cats as always).

Not a bad idea, just you in the middle. Peaceful. Quiet. Cold.

Thinking how the day went so fast and soon enough the sun will erupt for the place to be busy once again. It’s during these calmest pauses and serene moments that you’ll realize, what your heart truly desires in life.

You have no one but your inner-self which will help you with what and where you incline to be.

Actually, it’s all in your front already. The choices and options were there. Maybe what hinders you is your fear, there’s so much more you can do and you can be if you’re not afraid. Think about it.

Fear will be gone if you choose the path where your heart truly desires. Trust me. It’s a tough choice to make knowing ahead that it will require your fullest potential, and you have to because it is where your mind goes when you wander.

Let your cells work for you. Come to think of this, why do you close your eyes when you’re praying, when you’re dreaming and even when you feel like crying? It’s because the most wonderful things in life are not being seen but only felt by the heart.

Every little step that you’ll take is what will make your journey complete. Enjoy every step of the way, fill your heart with it. You can’t go back and change what you chose to begin with. But you can start where you are and remold what you desire.
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Your mind may always set fear, but let your heart break it. You always have a choice. Let go of what’s caging you. To the point that you set yourself free. And when you do, it’s during this time you truly live at the moment (and happiest).

You can sleep now.⁠ ⁠

What Makes You Happy?

I used to worry about my current situation for the future, but I realized how much important it is to focus on myself for once.

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Suddenly, I felt like getting away alone somewhere far, or with someone I love. Listen to my old records of High School Musical tapes as I drive fast. Catch the waves of the sea, smell its brine, and spend hours sighting sea stars. Take pictures of the sunset. Start bonfire on an island. Lay with the sand under my feet and go star gazing. Sleep in the tent and play with the shadows of my hand.

But, all these things are way too far from reality. The truth is I’m stuck that sometimes I feel like I’m losing the drive to play my game.

Mid June, I am bombarded with stuffs to do, a sword to fight the new normal realm. I so wanted to start it in no time because it requires time and my full potential to get it done. There is my passion but I’m lacking the drive towards it. These feelings hit me and I realized it seems like I’m doing things because it’s necessary and I keep doing so because it’s what’s needed to keep going.

I’m dealt with situations like these asking myself, do I really want to do this, or I am just not ready? It feels like I’m stuck because I’m pushing a door that says pull perhaps.

I’ve been having twain realizations about this matter for a while now. It says this isn’t what my body want to do, it is somehow I am being forced to do such, so everyone can see that I’m on the right track and I’m doing the right thing. But my inner saboteur says, this is just a phase, maybe I need to rest and recharge to start again.

Well, in the first place I won’t be placed to where I am now if I really have no sense of likeness about what I do frankly. Maybe the negative feelings which bother me are just signs which tell me it’s not the right time to do these stuffs which make me mentally drained. Seems like I’m getting hard on myself to keep pushing so people can’t see negative or let say weak sides of me, so to speak, so I can avoid getting the invalidation about what I do. Causes me to carry the weight of their expectations.

I don’t know but, it’s just so sad to feel that most people, including me, do stuffs because we’re living up with other peoples standards.

If you can relate with this, I believe in the end, what’s left on you is the choice. Maybe the choice you’ve been choosing all along is what’s right and can make you feel unworried, but the question is are you happy? For once in your life, choose something that is not just right, but rightfully can make you happy instead.

I still have a choice, so whenever I feel like exploring places, get away with my car, listen to music, go to the beach, and meet people — I would definitely do. I think it’s brave from choosing my own happiness than to sacrifice it over the rolling waves that I know I can push away and decide to start and fight again anyway.

So this time, Breathe. Feel alive. Choose happiness — it is free after all.