Have You Ever Felt Tired Of Living Your Life?

Life moves pretty fast. Why don’t you stop and look around once in a while?

You may not notice your favorite toy when you were a kid that you liked to throw here and there and break its parts is now fully covered with dust. The childhood scent of crayola box that you used to sniff, faded overtime. Along with the leaves falling by your window from the tree that you used to climb back then, now drifting.

You may now blink, right before you set your foot forward to your whereabouts for the day, you will pass by the stray kids goofing and playing around on your way. You will hear calls on repeat from the peddlers of goods. When you caught a sight of them, you’ll notice wrinkles of hardship painted on their faces, and hard-earned sweat streaming down their necks. Hard sacrifices for their simple dreams — to eat for a day and live for another day.

While you stride on the narrow streets of your childhood place on your way to the bus station off to school and work, something in mind will hit you. A thought or two which will make you ponder about what you just saw, has something changed? Then, you’ll realize there’s none.

Now you’re sitting in the bus, and since your drop off point is the last, you chose the back seat to feel like you’re the main lead of the movie. You noticed the people standing in front of you. The one facing left who seems to be late incessantly looking at his wrist watch. On his right is the serious senior student, looks like he’s ready for a one-seat apart examination. Then there’r the recliners, seems like the whole world has heard all the battles they’ve started this morning. And of course the sleepers, whom are tired from a night-long wakefulness to finish their reports and staffs for work or school.

You will just ask yourself, do these people you are with, share the same problems as yours? You think maybe you all do, but fall into different categories. A long way ride it is, you can’t do anything but to think of some things and your mind is occupied with unwelcome thoughts which makes you emotionally tired. Bills are waving — electricity, rent, internet, plans, maintenance and others. You will then check your email inbox where requirements and duties are giving you a heads up to finish it in due time.

So maybe right now you’re stuck, you are asking yourself how can you get out of the hole you dug for yourself?

What you try to do is to stay positive and have optimistic point of view in this kind of negative situation. Realizations will bubble up like maybe you’re just feeling lazy, or somehow you made some sort of mistake which makes you feel stressed.

Then you’re looking at these messed up things as a chance for you to grow, because you believe that when life gives you lemons, you make lemonades which means you keep yourself feel encouraged in the face of adversity.

You believe in fate and faith, though at times it’s hard to trust faith because your fate tends to deny you for so many times. It’s hard for you to believe in hoping for something you expect to happen or have faith in someone to come in your life when wrong things ensue over and over again. But you still believe on its power. You believe in His will and His plans for you. And so you pray and trust Him.

Though the phasing of life is real fast, it is way too short to live it like you’re just existing.

You can live your life because you keep doing action to flight. You are capable of building a castle out of all the bricks that life is throwing at you. Yes it’s a hard journey that’s filled with obstacles and failure but you’re used to it now. Every day is a battle, but what’s waiting for you is worth the struggle.

***

The sky turned velvet, you’re on your way home now, as you walk through the narrow streets, the playing kids were gone to rest. The place became quiet as the peddlers earned enough today. You’re like them, they have routines same as yours, and they never stop.

So, you will wake up 5AM tomorrow to start the day, it’s the process. I know it’s tough, but so are you. For now, you can rest. Don’t worry. You’ll be fine. Okay?

A Weekend in Mindoro

I still have a few backlogs to write and one of those is this one.

The semester has finally ended, so I thought about finding a good way to spend it. Thus, I took advantage of having a getaway at my mom’s hometown, plus it was my Lola and Kuya’s birthday. And we wanted to celebrate tho.

The night before, I was thinking if I will be taking the shower already, so I won’t have any struggle in the cold and knee-curling temp of the water as we have planned a super early morning parting because we wanted to get there in Mindoro as early as we could as it is way too far. But that night, I was really feeling drowsy and worn-out so, I decided to just generally have a morning shower. Well, it did help me freshen and wake up in that early move.

Mom: “Saan na kayo anak?”
Me: “We’re on our way na po, na-traffic lang sa laot haha“

Unfortunate events normally happen in life. We missed the 8AM ship, I’m gagged. So my mom, auntie and uncle waited for about 4-5 hours in Mamburao (Occidental Mindoro capital) to pick us up. We boarded at exactly 10AM.  The usual travel time to offboard in Port of Abra de Ilog consumes 3-4 hours including the latencies. Plus, an additional 1-hour drive from the port to Mamburao.

It’s past 5PM when we got there. Painted on my Lola’s face was jubilee for the reason that we only pay her a visit when we’re free. And since my mom works overseas, we only have a seldom time to go to Mindoro. We briskly gave her a hug and mano — an honoring gesture as a sign of respect. Since there is no cellular signal in our place there, I then swift to the shore where there’s an available. I told my dad that we already made it to Lola’s place. That’s our day, we have had some fun-filled talks, we ate and rested afterwhile to recharge. And I thank God for it was indeed a safe trip.

#DayOne

Everyone’s recharged and so did I. We were about to go swimming in the sea, but we were caught by the blazing heat of the sun. So my brother and I went lurking, we’ve decided to go to our cousins to check how they were. They live near the mountain, so we considered hiking. For I was curious to see the picture of everything at the bottom when you’re on the top of the mountain.  It’s not arduous to climb it and the views were undoubtedly a good distraction. It’s getting late in the afternoon, so we took the moment and gave thanks that we were allowed to get there and prayed to return us safely to the trailhead.

This weekend trip wouldn’t be completed without fresh foods. Foods that we don’t eat on a usual day. Yes, we were blessed with an abundance of bounty — seafood, tropical fruits and creative cooking style. Evident in the picture, I wasn’t able to get away with cleaning the dishes, just as how I do in Batangas. To drench, I used water from the poso — an old-style water pump commonly used in the provinces of the Philippines.

#TheNextDay

To kick start the day, I walked by the bay, listened to the rhythmic swell of waves, and of course inhaled the fresh, briny smell of the sea. Just as the heat of the sun has an ability to damage our skin, it also has plenty of health benefits associated with it. As per research, a 5-minute stand under the sun will save us from skin disorders such as acne, psoriasis and fungal skin infections. Just avoid too much exposure that may lead to suntan which means the skin has already been damaged. Since it’s low tide, I found a starfish by the shore. Sea stars can be found in the rocky areas just below sea level. They’re easy to find, and seeing them is indeed an exciting part of being in the beach.

This was one of the highlights of our escapade, my Kuya turned 23 and my Lola celebrated her 60th year of existence, glad we were there. For her, age is just a number, and she is young as she feels. I thank God for the added year in their lives. He really is the redeemer, the anchor, and healer of all life seizures.

#LastDay

It has been a tradition of our family to go to Calawagan Mountain Resort on the last day of our visit in Mindoro, about an hour trip from Paluan.  It’s a nature-based resort good for leisure outings, evident lush vegetation, has a cool mountain breeze, there are available cottages, forest, and hiking trails. There’s a lap pool upon entry and a connecting bridge to the other side of the resort where natural pool with boulders and rock formations can be found.  The large trees which abound throughout the resort provides an excellent shade even on the midday sun. As they say, birdwatchers wouldn’t have to go too far to locate some of Mindoro’s endemic birds such as hawk-owls, flower peckers, fruit-doves, flycatchers and sun birds as it can be seen and heard throughout this resort. It is an ideal locale for anyone who wishes a unique outdoor adventure in Mindoro. Picture taking is really a must.

It’s our last day in Mindoro, the time when unwelcome thoughts bubbled up, as our so-mini-vacation ending was imminent in just a wink. I love this type of vacation when we used to travel back and forth where I used to get a sunk feeling. The feeling of I-still-didn’t-want-to-go-back to my daily routine. It’s like I’m having anxiety because I’ve been used to what I’ve had experienced for the past few days. Then all of a sudden, I’m dreading the end to a glorious trip. The post-vacation feels hit me like a wrecking ball. I closed my eyes, I’m  having the time of my life, I opened my eyes, I’m back facing the reality and what happened fades in an instant.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. The life in Mindoro was just so simple. The way of living merely has a big difference from our life at home. There’s no signal for some area, means for FM radio, mobile phones and television, unless you have cable TV. I was able to experience this which others cannot. The simplicity of the life of the residents, harvesting onion crops, riding in a boat and balsa- a small raft or boat, roaming around by the shore to pick up seashells, viewing sea stars, sightseeing around, and mountain adventures.

It was a weekend away from the civilization and overcrowded places. I was able to feel the sea breeze and it’s brine, and the sounds of the blow of the waves. I was also able to meditate, away from the pressure and social media.

God is good all the time. He provided us not just the financial needs but also the strength and the precious time to look back and visit the place and the people whom are part of who we are and how’s our life now. And I know He is with us, wherever we go.

Till our next.

You Are Doing Your Best To Cope And Survive, It’s Enough. You Are Enough.

 

Deer in the headlights as I grasped all the sequels of what COVID-19 pandemic has brought us and the government-imposed community quarantine and social distancing.

As a sword to fight for productivity, certain people are being accustomed to working from home, engaging to webinars, whilst some are having their perfect fitspiration to tone up, or catching up with a multitude of books, decluttering storage and closets, and even trying new recipes like dalgona coffee or something that’s all over TikTok, so to speak.  I have even read and shared that Sir Isaac Newton had to work from home in 1665 as the University of Cambridge temporarily closed due to the bubonic plague, the time used for him to develop calculus and theory of gravity.

These whirlwind of productive activities are the onslaught feed of the internet nowadays for people to spend their extra time in a good manner. I’m in awe that I so admire people from pushing this through and taking the advantage of quarantining. What an impeccable perseverance which serves as a rebuttal to the overabundance of time and scarcity.

However, I feel extra pressured to keep hustling and fill my time to complete and finish the tasks I have. For instance, there are times that I take a glance at the finalization of my thesis in graduate school and later disrupted that I can’t seem to get it done for the past month since the enhanced community quarantine has been imposed. And I always tend to take a break and do some other things which can lighten my mood for a while or rest. Moments that I feel like I’m procrastinating or having an instinctive physiological response to take fight or flight. But I guess it’s something that I should not be invalidated for.

We are all going through this global pandemic phenomenon, and we are being inundated with tons of anxiety-inducing news about coronavirus update which really affects our mental health. We are stuck in this traumatic experience which adds to our emotional discomfort and unsteadiness. It’s indeed hard to process when we’re still in the battle, so it’s really not a bad idea to give some grace and be more gentle with ourselves during this time. It’s going to take some time, but that doesn’t mean that we fail as a human. Plus we still have to work on our regular routines. I’m not saying that we don’t need to exert hard work, but we also need to change our rhythms. It’s okay to just sit on a couch for a day, binge watch your favorite K-Dramas and movies on Netflix, play games, answer some gibberish, listen to music, discover obscure talents, browse on your feeds, connect with family and friends, support our frontliners, reflect, pray, meditate and most importantly take care of your mental health as we are all coming from different hurdles as we cope up during this quarantine.

Yes, we are all adjusting, sometimes it’s okay not to be productive, what we can do is just to trust the process. Don’t let other people define how you manage your time, we are no Isaac Newton, but we can be enough being ourselves to cope and survive. Live anyway, this too shall pass.